I see pictures of a protest. It can be about just about anyone’s rights, maybe nothing that directly addresses trans rights, and in the street and there are dozens, hundreds, or even thousands of people. But what draws my attention isn’t the crowd size. It is who is at the front: more often than not, trans folk will be among the vanguard of the protest. These trans folk know how trans folks are treated by police and the criminal justice system. Yet they are the ones in front. It is time for others to step up for us.
(from the Transgender Archive)
America is currently at war. The war is between billionaire Christian nationalism and literally everyone else (although the billionaires have plenty of working-class and middle-class members, and even some trans folk, either because the hate of these members surpasses instincts for self-preservation or because they don’t yet realize the billionaires don’t like them any better than they like trans women). But often at the front of the fight will be trans people (yes, there are other groups at the front too, but importantly we are there). The war is all around us, you can see it when you look out your window or when you turn on your television, at work, when you go to church, when you pay your taxes (based on lines from The Matrix). This war is everywhere. Trans people aren’t the only ones targeted, but trans people are somehow involved in the war on all sides (as are a handful of other groups, with plenty of overlap).
But I’ll let you in on a secret (or at least something apparently unknown to a lot of people): We are tired. Really tired. Every time I turn on my TV or I browse social media, I see what is happening to people like me. It is horrific. Trans folk are dying (this is not hyperbole). So ya, we’re tired.
Those of us who survive still tend to be strong people, but we shouldn’t have to be so strong. Besides, even the strongest warrior can fall in battle. Too many of us have. Strength alone isn’t enough.
In 1971, not very long after Stonewall in 1969, a manifesto for trans liberation appeared in the Detroit Gay Liberator (and other places). To set the scene, prior to Stonewall, there were other riots, often with trans folk on center stage. A key way some anti-LGBT laws were enforced was based on gender presentation, that is people wearing the “wrong” clothing. What happened from that? Trans leaders stepped up and fought back. They were on the front lines of the riots, yet were often excluded from the new gay movement. Sylvia Rivera’s presence at the 1973 NYC Gay Pride was put to a vote, and she came onto the stage to a chorus of boos (as an aside, when she did speak she gave the address for one of the S.T.A.R. houses; To this day, there is not any plaque or recognition if you walk past that location). We were tired and angry then, and we’re tired and angry now.
That trans liberation manifesto in 1971 used some language that modern writers wouldn’t use, but recognizing that trans people used the words they had in 1971, the demands are just as applicable today as they were in 1971. In particular, it demanded that trans people would not be used as shock troops. This is referring to the people who put their bodies on the line for a movement, who win rights for those comfortably in the back while often not having them for themselves (often, they aren’t even part of the group who they are fighting for). Trans people then-and-now recognize this injustice.
Why then do we do it? I have a lot of theories. As a trans+autistic person, one of them is that the high number of autistic people in the trans community is part of it. One of the hallmarks of autism is a strong, even disabling (because of the reaction by society), desire for justice. We don’t like to see wrongs. But not every person at the vanguard is an autistic person. Some of us have learned to recognize at least some other injustices by being subjected to different injustice ourselves. I’m not saying that there isn’t racism, classism, or other bigotries among trans folk, or that a white trans person suddenly has insight just because they are trans into anti-Black racism. But many of us do recognize parallel struggles, even if we are not fighting for our own rights. (it’s also fine to call us out when we fail at this)
But I want to write to our allies: Help us. We’re probably going to be on the front lines for a long time, in both our own and other communities. We need support.
What does that look like? Sometimes it is very material and tangible. Give us a ride. Donate to our GoFundMe’s. Employ us.
Sometimes however, it is giving us hope. A cis person making a loud, strong, and culturally relevant statement in support of trans folk is a big deal. I think of this political spot by Zohran Mamdani during the campaign for NYC mayor:
When trans people watch a major politician give a speech that is clearly informed by trans people, about trans people, centering trans people and our history (even in the music, which was SOPHIE’s [rest in power] It’s Okay to Cry). Trans people don’t hear non-trans people making strong and substantial statements advocating for justice for us. Myself, and some of the trans people I’ve asked about this, cried when we saw it, with tears of amazement and hope.
Hope and joy are important. It is the food and water that sustains us in these fights. That’s a key way you can help us if you aren’t trans: Speak up, loudly, clearly, and amplifying the voices of trans people. Even if it is simple as saying “not cool, dude” in the breakroom at work when someone makes a transphobic joke, that is both water and it is training for you, so that when are called to do something bigger, you’ve had practice with the smaller things. Most of us won’t have the platform that a major NYC mayor candidate has, but there is things you can do.
Pass us the microphone. Rather than trying to keep us away from the microphone, as happened to Sylvia, let us speak, and recognize that, like Sylvia, we’re messy sometimes. Don’t expect us to be perfect or have everything figured out, because we don’t. Don’t tone police us. Don’t make us do things in a respectable, non-offensive way. When you read my words and think “This is unfair to me,” instead take a step back and think about whether you can just move past the parts that aren’t applicable to you, rather than demanding we add tons of “not all cis” for you. The reality is that most anti-trans oppression does come from cis people, and as a group cis people haven’t been particularly kind to trans folks. If you are one of the exceptions, that’s great, but don’t invalidate what we are saying because it doesn’t apply directly to you. Trust me, we know there are decent cis people. But rather than center cis people in our advocacy, we might speak in generalities in the name of expedience. Please don’t invalidate our underlying point by arguing minor details with us. Trans people have long been oppressed for cis people’s comfort. Don’t contribute to that by trying to make the conversation center your feelings.
Likewise, don’t ask us to be shock troops for something that is transphobic. When I see calls for trans folks to “vote blue, no matter who”, that’s transphobic. In some cases, you are asking trans folks to vote for their own erasure for the greater good. You’re treating us as disposable if you do that. Asking me to vote to only have some of my rights taken away as a compromise is asking me to start building my own prison cell to confine myself within, for the sake of people who won’t be forced to live in a prison cell. Instead, tell the politician that even though you’re cis, you won’t compromise on human rights and the pursuit of true justice. Tell the politician to get their shit together if they want your vote. Be in the room when we are not, and let other cis folk know justice is important to you.
But you don’t have to do just the political things. Just see us. If we have a binary identity, recognize it! Treat us like others of our gender, without any qualifiers. Arranging a happy hour for women at your work? Invite trans women! Going to the football game with the dudes for a boy’s night? Invite the trans dudes too! (pro tip: this works best when you do the work you need to do to see us as we are-you might need to practice away from us to get this right). If someone is non-binary, learn what that means to them and respect their non-binary essence. For some, that might be rotating through the pronouns they use, using a neopronoun like xe for them, or opening a binary space to them (some non-binary people enjoy being treated generally like one or both of the binary genders, and not only an outsider). But you’ll need to talk to the person to figure out what their gender means to them.
When you do something that is generally gendered, make it explicit that trans folk are welcomed. Ideally, talk to a trans person who is willing and ask how to do this (perhaps even pay them for their cultural knowledge!). I avoid many “women’s” events, despite being a woman, because I’m not explicitly welcomed, and I don’t want to ask them, “are you transphobes or not?” I’m tired. So when I see a photo of a visibly trans person participating, when I see a FAQ entry that says trans people are always welcome, when I see a code of conduct that mentions that transphobia is not acceptable, I can feel more likely to participate. Likewise, don’t expect a trans person to know they are welcome to an event. Consider personally inviting them!
And, also, consider being in a support role for our events. Depending on the event, allies may or may not be welcome to participate in the same way as trans folks, but we’ll almost always welcome your money, your offer of providing assistance (particularly with tasks that are hard to find people to do, such as tear-down at the end of the event), and we will generally welcome you dealing with a cis transphobe who tries to ruin our event. Go to your local TDoR event in November just to show that you, too, care about the lives that are lost. At a trans rights rally, show up and stand between the cops or anti-trans protesters and us. If you’re part of a non-trans organization, consider sponsoring or joining with a trans group for an event or protest.
Most of all, just get to know us. Let us experience joy and rest. It is hard to always be on the front lines.
Gendered Thoughts 